A Fistful of Rubbers

The Sid Tillsley Chronicles - Book Two

Author: M. J. Jackman

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780990565543

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 672

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Sid Tillsley is back! Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic from Middlesbrough. He's sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, "two" things set him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners. Sid Tillsley can kill vampires with a single punch. AND he's no longer claiming benefits. In the eyes of everyone apart from the taxman, Sid Tillsley is officially a vampire hunter. The old hunter, Reece Chambers, is using Sid to strike fear into the heart of the vampire nation, and Sid is doing so with gusto-for he gets a packet of fags for every vampire he knocks out. But all is not rosy in Sid's world... The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans mandated to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, has shut down his local pub in a horrific act of cruelty, separating him and his mates from their beloved Bolton Bitter. Plus, the psychotic vampire Gunnar Ivansey wants revenge. Sid hit Gunnar so hard in the nuts, he's never forgiven him. Sid's trusted friends are having a hard time too. Arthur Peasley is being nagged to death and regrets knocking up his vampire girlfriend. Brian Garforth discovers vampires are so allergic to his "special sauce" that even a visit to the clinic won't save them. And then there's Peter Rathbone, who is still a greasy, horrible, little bastard. Sid doesn't realise that he has a fight coming, one which will test him to his very limits. There's something else lurking in the shadows, or rather, the closet. A Northern man will punch anything in the face, but what terrifies him, what saturates him with carnal fear, is a direct attack on his sexuality...and the Campire draws near. ""The ultimate vampire series. Howay the lads! A definite must read!"" -Amy J. Ramsey, Ramsey's Reviews 2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014.

The Great Right Hope

The Sid Tillsley Chronicles - Book One

Author: M. J. Jackman

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780957472693

Category: Humor

Page: 254

View: 3773

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Sometimes, even the best vampires can earn themselves a good smack... Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic benefit fraudster from Middlesbrough. He's sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, "one" thing sets him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners... He can kill vampires with a single punch. Meanwhile, in Northeast England, a monster has arisen, one that doesn't subscribe to "Tits" magazine. A vampire beast stalks the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders fear the Firmamentum has reappeared-a phenomenon that occurs every few millennia when a human and a vampire are born, ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans mandated to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, believe Sid to be the Bellator, the chosen one destined to fight the vampire beast. Sid finds himself the centre of human and vampire attention, but he's more concerned about drinking down the pub with his mates and trying to end his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about. The Benefit Office is on to him, and if they see him fighting immortal vampire monsters from Hell, they may take away his disability benefits. ""Sid is hilarious, entertaining and, strangely enough, charming. Maybe charming is too strong a word..."" -Bitten by Books 2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014.

Open To Doubt

Author: Marcus Achison

Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd

ISBN: 1788032322

Category: Humor

Page: 200

View: 2100

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Open To Doubt is a collection of short humorous stories, adventure tales and spoof advertisements covering a wide variety of topics such as heroic behaviour, travel, monkey oil, the diary of Clovis Pumly and buttock maintenance, to name but a few.

The Rancher Inherits a Family

Author: Cheryl St.John

Publisher: Harlequin

ISBN: 1488087296

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 9664

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Unexpected Father The pretty redhead Seth Halloway pulls from a derailed train has surprising news for him. The children she’s accompanied to Cowboy Creek aren’t hers—they’re his, thanks to the last wishes of a late friend. Busy rancher Seth must suddenly cope with three rambunctious boys…and try to ignore his growing feelings for independent Marigold Brewster. Marigold hopes to start over as the town’s new schoolteacher. She’ll choose her own path, and stay aloof from the adorable Radner boys—and their guardian. But the man who rescued her from a wrecked railcar might just be the one to save her from loneliness…if she dares to let him in.

The Promise

Author: Ben Brown

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571319262

Category: Drama

Page: 112

View: 4518

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It's the beginning of World War I and Herbert Samuel - the first practicing Jew ever to sit in a British Cabinet - dreams of using British power to back a return of the Jews to Palestine after 1800 years. However, his cousin, Edwin Montagu - also in the Cabinet - is implacably opposed to the idea, a conflict complicated by Montagu's passion for the beautiful aristocrat, Venetia Stanley, a confidante of the Prime Minister, Herbert Asquith. Politics, religion and love collide with world-changing effect in this new play of political and sexual intrigue, and the origins of Israel. The Promise premiered at the Orange Tree Theatre in February 2010.

The Couch and the Circle

A Story of Group Psychotherapy

Author: Hyman Spotnitz

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781258511999

Category:

Page: 286

View: 4649

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Partial Contents Include Introduction To The Group Setting; The Third Psychiatric Revolution; The Analytic Treatment Process; The Phantom Figure; Patients And Treatment Settings.

Acracknophobi

Book III of the Sid Tillsley Chronicles

Author: Mark Jackman

Publisher: LL-Publications

ISBN: 9781905091935

Category: Fiction

Page: 310

View: 9349

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The end is near... When the most prolific and lethal vampire hunter the world has ever known cancels his subscription to "Tits," Middlesbrough locals know that something isn't right. And that's an understatement... The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on mankind. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans formed to hide the existence of the vampire, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that quells the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets life will never be the same again. Unfortunately, Sid Tillsley cannot be called upon, and it wasn't even the vampires who cancelled his subscription to his all-time favourite periodical. Sid has got a job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month! But why? Vampires would never be so cruel. Such devilry can only be the work of womenfolk... Join Sid and the lads from Middlesbrough in the exciting and hilarious conclusion about the reluctant vampire hunter...who only ever wanted a shag.

The Underwater Welder

Author: Jeff Lemire

Publisher: Top Shelf Productions

ISBN: 1603091467

Category: Comics & Graphic Novels

Page: N.A

View: 5937

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Pressure. As an underwater welder on an oilrig off the coast of Nova Scotia, Jack Joseph is used to the immense pressures of deep-sea work. Nothing, however, could prepare him for the pressures of impending fatherhood. As Jack dives deeper and deeper, he seems to pull further and further away from his young wife, and their unborn son. But then, something happens deep on the ocean floor. Jack has a strange and mind-bending encounter that will change the course of his life forever. ... Equal parts blue-collar character study and mind-bending science fiction epic, The Underwater Welder is a 250-page graphic novel that explores fathers and sons, birth and death, memory and truth, and treasures we all bury deep down inside.

Coffin Scarcely Used

Author: Colin Watson

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571281060

Category: Fiction

Page: 174

View: 2492

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Described by Cecil Day-Lewis as 'a great lark, full of preposterous situations and pokerfaced wit', Coffin Scarcely Usedis Colin Watson's first Flaxborough novel and was originally published in 1958. The small town of Flaxborough is taken aback when one of the mourners at Councillor Carobelat's funeral dies just six months later. Not only was he Councillor Carobelat's neighbour but the circumstances of his death are rather unusual, even for Flaxborough standards. Marcus Gwill, proprietor of the Flaxborough Citizen has been found electrocuted at the foot of an electricity pylon with a mouth full of marshmallows. Local gossip rules it as either an accident or a suicide but Inspector Purbright remains unconvinced. After all, he's never encountered a suicide who has been in the mood for confectionery at the last moment...

THE MAN FROM THE DIOGENES CLUB

Author: Kim Newman

Publisher: Titan Books (US, CA)

ISBN: 1781165750

Category: Fiction

Page: 400

View: 1065

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CAN’T ELIMINATE THE IMPOSSIBLE? Send for the man from the Diogenes Club! The debonair psychic investigator Richard Jeperson is the Most Valued Member of the Diogenes Club, the least-known and most essential branch of British Intelligence. While foiling the plot of many a maniacal mastermind, he is chased by sentient snowmen and Nazi zombies, investigates an unearthly murderer stalking the sex shops of 1970s Soho, and battles a poltergeist to prevent it triggering nuclear Armageddon. But as a new century dawns, can he save the ailing Diogenes Club itself from a force more diabolical still? Newman’s ten mischievous tales, with cameos from the much-loved characters of the Anno Dracula universe, will entertain fans and newcomers alike.

The Clown Service

Author: Guy Adams

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448175526

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 9863

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Toby Greene has been reassigned. The Department: Section 37 Station Office, Wood Green. The Boss: August Shining, an ex-Cambridge, Cold War-era spy. The Mission: Charged with protecting Great Britain and its interests from paranormal terrorism. The Threat: An old enemy has returned, and with him Operation Black Earth, a Soviet plan to create the ultimate insurgents by re-animating the dead.

Critical Failures VI

Author: Robert Bevan

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

ISBN: 9781718732063

Category:

Page: 490

View: 7678

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In the wake of their recent loss, the Caverns & Creatures gang are left hanging. Do their choices amount to more than waiting around to die of thirst and leaping to a quicker death? Probably, or else this would have been a much shorter book.

The Mary Celeste Papers

Author: Paul Gallimore

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781480129801

Category: Fiction

Page: 274

View: 5247

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The Mary Celeste Papers is a laugh-out-loud, mystery novel, which bubbles up and explodes out of the grit and grime of a dead-end railroad depot in England. Follow the fates of a group of ultra-ordinary railwaymen as one of them happens across a mysterious ship's log and thereafter falls victim to a major crime. Scooped up by a tide of events way beyond their control, the unlikely band of heroes become the focus of a full-blown, worldwide, media whirlwind and all the while unanswered questions are piling up around them. Paul Gallimore's first novel is a hugely original fusion of ideas, where raw humour transmutes into whodunit, and science fiction blurs with cold fact. What is it that this delightful assortment of misfits has accidentally dragged out into the open? Did the US Navy really conduct a top secret experiment into invisibility in 1943? Just what did happen to the Mary Celeste? And will the truth finally lie somewhere in the ocean between Fulham and Philadelphia? The Mary Celeste Papers is an intelligent, well written, thought provoking funny book; filled to the brim with fully-formed, larger than life characters whose fortunes will grab your attention and hold it in a vice-like grip until the final page has been turned. The Mary Celeste Papers is a people book; about little guys on a big stage and you absolutely deserve to read it.

Oddjobs

Author: Heide Goody,Iain Grant

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780993365539

Category:

Page: 296

View: 5804

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It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world but that's no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organisation responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. The first book in a new comedy series by the creators of 'Clovenhoof', Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.

Camp Scoundrel

Doing what it Takes to Survive Paradise

Author: David Luddington

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781912601042

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 1619

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When ex-SAS soldier, Michael Purdy, comes in front of the judge for hacking the bank account of the Minister for Invalidity Benefits and wiping out his wealth, he braces himself for a prison sentence. What Michael doesn't expect, is to be put in charge of a group of offenders and sent to the Sierra Nevada Mountains to teach them survival skills.

Critical Failures

Author: Robert Bevan

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781481952439

Category: Fiction

Page: 316

View: 6273

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Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game. Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world. It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist. Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken.