How to Be an Adult in Relationships

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9780834821033

Category: Self-Help

Page: 240

View: 3993

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"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

How to Be an Adult

A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Paulist Press

ISBN: 1616433558

Category: Adulthood

Page: 86

View: 2952

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Using the metaphor of the heroic journeydeparture, struggle and returnthe author shows readers the way to psychological and spiritual health.

Daring to Trust

Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 1590309243

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 211

View: 3219

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Explores the human ability to trust, and argues that people must develop trust in four directions, including toward themselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path in order to maintain healthy relationships and experience emotional well-being.

What About Me?

Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship

Author: Jane Greer

Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.

ISBN: 1402242980

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 240

View: 9819

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"Am I with the most selfish person alive?" "Am I being selfish when I do the things I want to do?" "If you loved me, you would..." The battle of what "I want" versus what "you want" is intense. Couples are in a constant tug of war, squabbling with each other with no regard for their partner's feelings, with great guilt over their own perceived selfishness, or feeling somewhere in between. And it's costing us our relationships. What About Me? will guide readers through the new terrain of relationships in this era of entitlement, showing how selfishness plays a role and helping you better understand what being selfish really is. Learn to: see beyond what you perceive as selfish requests-your partner's and your own conquer the selfish hot spots that flare up in your relationship understand all the differences, fears, and preferences that come between couples Through anecdotes and quizzes, and drawing from Dr. Jane Greer's more than twenty years of experience in relationship counseling, What About Me? will teach readers what's reasonable to expect of themselves and their partners, equip them with the tools to move from "me" to "we," and get them back on track to happily ever after. "Finally, a simply put yet deeply resonating guide to help us eliminate toxic messages that feed into our relationships! Keep What About Me? next to your bedside and get what you need, immediately!" -Emme, supermodel "What About Me? unabashedly digs deeply into the origins of conflict in relationships and paves the way for resolution, healing, and happiness. This is a book that will serve all of us well." -David Perlmutter, MD, author of Power Up Your Brain: The Neuroscience of Enlightenment

When Love Meets Fear

How to Become Defense-less and Resource-full

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Paulist Press

ISBN: 1616430664

Category: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

Page: 129

View: 8578

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The author of the bestselling "How to Be an Adult" explains in his characteristic popular style how fear can cripple our ability to take risks in life and how it can be overcome by love. He looks at the deepest roots of fear and suggests practical ways to escape from fear.

How to Be an Adult in Love

Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834828499

Category: Self-Help

Page: 272

View: 863

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We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways—beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. He provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love’s inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn’t just for a heroic few, Dave shows, it’s everyone’s magnificent calling.

The Five Keys to Mindful Communication

Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Confli cts, and Accomplish Your Goals

Author: Susan Gillis Chapman

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834827794

Category: Self-Help

Page: 224

View: 6745

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Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals. Drawing on Buddhist principles and on her training as a psychotherapist, Chapman explains how the practice of mindfulness—learning to become fully present in the moment—makes it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond. Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication: silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding, and she dedicates a chapter of the book to each. Other topics include identifying your communication patterns and habits; uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication; staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully; and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.

Mindful Loving

Author: Henry Grayson

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9781592400614

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 304

View: 9467

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Invites readers to examine their relationships from a non-traditional perspective, drawing on western and eastern philosophy and a range of spiritual traditions to demonstrate how to heal oneself and a relationship, break unhealthy cycles, create a spiritual marriage, and establish healthier beliefs. Reprint. 15,000 first printing.

You Are Not What You Think

The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834803232

Category: Self-Help

Page: 192

View: 5314

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A healthy ego is necessary to achieving our goals, to building healthy relationships, and to leading a satisfying and meaningful life. But an ego that gets too big—that becomes egotism—can actually inhibit all those wonderful possibilities. In this luminous guide, David Richo offers wisdom from psychology, myth, and spiritual traditions to show us how to let go of the kind of ego that causes suffering for ourselves and others. As a wonderful result, we gain self-confidence and find new ways to love too. It’s not a matter of getting rid of ego but of seeing through it. When we learn to do that, Dave says, we’ll discover the core of indestructible goodness in our enlightened nature. Then, when we see "big ego" expressed in ourselves or others, we begin to regard it with compassion rather than disdain. We are truly, Dave shows, not what we think but much, much more.

Shadow Dance

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9780834822917

Category: Self-Help

Page: 336

View: 5822

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Our "shadow" is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are afraid to admit: egotist, non-"PC" proclivities, forbidden sexual desires. But it also includes our positive, untapped potential—qualities we may admire in others but disavow in ourselves. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us. David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, relationship, and the world around is. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand, but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.

The Five Things We Cannot Change

And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9780834822269

Category: Psychology

Page: 192

View: 1763

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Why is it that despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment. There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable "givens" of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality, including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.

Coming Home to Who You Are

Discovering Your Natural Capacity for Love, Integrity, and Compassion

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834827743

Category: Self-Help

Page: 144

View: 8553

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We already possess everything we need to have satisfying relationships and a happy, fulfilling life; all we need to do is learn how to bring forth our natural wisdom—which includes our innate kindness, understanding, and courage. Psychotherapist David Richo draws on four decades of his counseling experience to create this manual on how to nurture the best in ourselves and our relationships. He teaches how to access our natural abilities to: • Care for ourselves as the basis of caring for others • Find freedom from fear • Maintain healthy boundaries in relationships • Develop greater honesty with ourselves and others • Let go of regret The book also includes practical exercises—including journaling, contemplation, and guided meditations—to foster inward growth and lasting positive change. This book is a completely revised and updated edition of Everyday Commitments.

Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist

How to End the Drama and Get on with Life

Author: Margalis Fjelstad

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

ISBN: 144222018X

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 219

View: 9453

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People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

Author: Leil Lowndes

Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional

ISBN: 9780071502375

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 336

View: 2563

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Here, from bestselling author Leil Lowndes, is a surefire guide to love for anyone seeking romantic bliss. In How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You readers will find 85 techniques based on scientific studies regarding the nature of love, including: Finding potential love partners Making an unforgettable first impression Dodging "love bloopers" Establishing sexual rapport By using these pragmatic, down-to-earth strategies, anyone can turn new or casual relationships into lasting ones--or make current relationships deeper.

How to Be an Adult in Faith and Spirituality

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Paulist Press

ISBN: 0809146916

Category: Religion

Page: 156

View: 6464

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As the lone young lady on a transatlantic voyage in 1832, Charlotte learns that the captain is murderous and the crew rebellious.

The Power of Grace

Recognizing Unexpected Gifts on Our Path

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834830019

Category: Self-Help

Page: 192

View: 9107

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Perhaps you’ve had one of those moments when everything, quite unexpectedly, simply falls into place; or, when you’ve been puzzling over an impossible question and—pow!—the answer suddenly arises, seemingly out of nowhere. These and other such experiences are not caused by our efforts. They are moments of grace, the gift dimension of life. Grace is generally associated with religion, but, as Dave Richo shows, you don’t need to be religious to notice—and benefit from—this help from outside yourself that’s being offered to you in every moment. Dave provides teachings and helpful practices that show us how to open our eyes to the sources of grace everywhere and in everyone. When we open ourselves to grace, we begin to see it work wonders in our lives—and we become conduits of its power to others.

When the Past Is Present

Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9780834823174

Category: Self-Help

Page: 224

View: 1743

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In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy

The Mindful Couple

How Acceptance and Mindfulness Can Lead You to the Love You Want

Author: Robyn D. Walser,Darrah Westrup

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

ISBN: 9781608824823

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 176

View: 9426

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All of us want to be fully accepted in our relationships, yet it can be difficult to fully accept our partners for who they are. This insightful guide for couples is based on a simple concept: Act out of kindness, love, and acceptance, and you will open your relationship for the creation of greater kindness, love, and acceptance. With strategies drawn from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a powerful therapeutic approach, this book will help you identify your core values and discover, as a couple, the beauty that is available to you and your partner when you bring greater awareness and values-guided behavior to your relationship. Each chapter explores a key issue, such as passion, fidelity, and the balance between dependence and independence, and includes specific practices you can do alone or with your partner to help you build a vital relationship.

Easy Does It Dating Guide

For People in Recovery

Author: Mary Faulkner

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1616491310

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 232

View: 4978

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A straightforward, yet lighthearted, look at what it takes to enter or reenter the world of dating—clean and sober style. How much of your past should you share? Is it wise to date another addict in recovery? What should you do if you're attracted to a problem drinker? These are important questions in any dating relationship, but even more critical for individuals who are in recovery. This Step-friendly, one-of-a-kind dating guide offers frank yet lighthearted advice about avoiding the traps, triggers, and trauma of romance in recovery. EXCERPT: "Dating in recovery has been compared to playing football without gear, running barefoot over sharp rocks, and having dental work without the benefit of painkillers. It can be the great escape, bounce you back into relapse, or trigger a new addiction."

Disarming the Narcissist

Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

Author: Wendy T. Behary

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

ISBN: 1608827623

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 224

View: 2117

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Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.